“I don’t wanna be a prisoner”… the song goes! ”Nor do I”, my mind goes!
Trying to get that number down. Counting the days until I’m Free Again!! Never take life for granted. Sacrifice EVERYTHING you can that can’t harm you (mentally, physically or spiritually) to achieve your Joy and KEEP It! I am willing to do the almost unthinkable to get there. Reeling it in at times yet; casting the line back just as feverishly. Utopia is what I have in mind! Indisputable restlessness with conviction to a “Cause”.
I don’t really know or care about this thing called “Purpose” anymore! I can only go where the spirit leads me. I will do what the spirit tells me. We will walk hand in hand with my sacrifice, research, wisdom and God’s direction to Grasp what is centered deep in my soul!
For Far To long I have done exactly what everyone else wants and Not What I NEED! No More relegating the “matters of my heart” to someone else; be it family or friend. The cares of what they may think or feel and carrying out tasks where I “play” to their standards have to cease. I have to Live with Me! The individual inside myself can no longer take it; PERIOD. Yes, “she” is coming more to the Surface! I’ll have none of the “because” we think so. Over are the days of “moments” past that I did not control, on my own, with ALL of my Might: “Life’s Situations”. If it makes ME happy without TRULY Hurting others in an intentional and vicious way; I have the Right. It does not matter what others think, for it is THEIR Opinion.
My time is coming! My Life is Mine!! I Will Make It My REALITY!!!
At times, family and/or friends can put hurtful strains on our lives. My latest assumption seems to be, because they are special to us (and they know it) they feel as though it is acceptable to not only voice their opinions but; to make you feel bad or at least second guess your feelings about a situation.
When we are proactive in taking a big step towards being independent, self-sufficient, a dreamer/dreamaker/dreambeliever…, etc., going against the grade can sometimes bring out the worst in people. We have to learn from our own mistakes. We NEED to live our lives. We only have this ONE!
Regret! That is a word that literally “scares” me!! I don’t like the meaning, feeling or consequences of it!!! I’m proud of that fact. Admittance to it encourages me. Dealing with it Give Me The Victory! I’m a stronger person for recognizing the realms of pitfalls like regret! In this life, I plan to do all that I can to make it Beautiful even when things are not so Grand. “Life is Beautiful” – Roberto Benigni (A Very Beautiful and “LIFE” Giving Movie)
It’s going to feel So Good to start living this way…, again! I had it years ago in my twenties. Loved it. Cherished it. Let it go. Never Again! Revelations are at least ONE GOOD THING about getting older!
THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER!!! MY FIRST DAY HAS COME AND GONE… IT FEELS SO GOOD TO DO IT “MY WAY” ONCE AGAIN!!!
I added a piece of furniture design to my bedroom here at the house. My plan, my layout, my money and my decision. I prioritized my work schedule. I said “NO” to those who only wanted to use me for their selfish means. I kept firm in my beliefs that: we are free to live how we want, not to someone elses level or standard of living. I plan to go on a date with men that “I Choose” and not who makes someone else (family or friends) happy or comfortable. I will work further on my designs and add to my song catalog and do more freelance singing.
The earth is still turning! I’m still Alive!! Heck, the Yankees Loss in a terrible playoff game and still the world’s problems are unsolved. Therefore, I will continue to retain my happiness by taking part in more items in my life and taking each day as it comes and living it a little at the time. I’m liking this living on my terms thing all over again. Brings back fond memories of camping on beaches, meeting strangers and just talking like there is No Tomorrow! The “Beauty in Life”… people, this is what it is all about! We could be gone in our sleep and never take that trip or enJoy the perfect afternoon drive, movie, game, concert, meal, drink or romantic sunset. All the money and correctness; will be here when we have left this earth!
I’ve stopped the methodic planning and obsessive, perfected obedience. I’m Living!!!