“I don’t wanna be a prisoner”… the song goes!   “Nor do I”, my mind goes!


Trying to get that number down. Counting the days until I’m Free Again!! Never take life for granted. Sacrifice EVERYTHING you can that can’t harm you (mentally, physically or spiritually) to achieve your Joy and KEEP It! I am willing to do the almost unthinkable to get there. Reeling it in at times yet; casting the line back just as feverishly. Utopia is what I have in mind! Indisputable restlessness with conviction to a “Cause”.

I don’t really know or care about this thing called “Purpose” anymore! I can only go where the spirit leads me. I will do what the spirit tells me. We will walk hand in hand with my sacrifice, research, wisdom and God’s direction to Grasp what is centered deep in my soul!

For Far To long I have done exactly what everyone else wants and Not What I NEED! No More relegating the “matters of my heart” to someone else; be it family or friend. The cares of what they may think or feel and carrying out tasks where I “play” to their standards have to cease. I have to Live with Me! The individual inside myself can no longer take it; PERIOD. Yes, “she” is coming more to the Surface! I’ll have none of the “because” we think so. Over are the days of “moments” past that I did not control, on my own, with ALL of my Might: “Life’s Situations”. If it makes ME happy without TRULY Hurting others in an intentional and vicious way; I have the Right.  It does not matter what others think, for it is THEIR Opinion.

My time is coming! My Life is Mine!! I Will Make It My REALITY!!!

Post Statement:

At times, family and/or friends can put hurtful strains on our lives. My latest assumption seems to be, because they are special to us (and they know it) they feel as though it is acceptable to not only voice their opinions but; to make you feel bad or at least second guess your feelings about a situation.

When we are proactive in taking a big step towards being independent, self-sufficient, a dreamer/dreamaker/dreambeliever…, etc., going against the grade can sometimes bring out the worst in people. We have to learn from our own mistakes. We NEED to live our lives. We only have this ONE!

Regret! That is a word that literally “scares” me!! I don’t like the meaning, feeling or consequences of it!!! I’m proud of that fact. Admittance to it encourages me. Dealing with it Give Me The Victory! I’m a stronger person for recognizing the realms of pitfalls like regret! In this life, I plan to do all that I can to make it Beautiful even when things are not so Grand. “Life is Beautiful” – Roberto Benigni (A Very Beautiful and “LIFE” Giving Movie)

It’s going to feel So Good to start living this way…, again! I had it years ago in my twenties. Loved it. Cherished it. Let it go. Never Again! Revelations are at least ONE GOOD THING about getting older!

This update was LIBERATING!!! (insert big smile here)


I added a piece of furniture design to my bedroom here at the house. My plan, my layout, my money and my decision. I prioritized my work schedule. I said “NO” to those who only wanted to use me for their selfish means. I kept firm in my beliefs that: we are free to live how we want, not to someone elses level or standard of living. I plan to go on a date with men that “I Choose” and not who makes someone else (family or friends) happy or comfortable. I will work further on my designs and add to my song catalog and do more freelance singing.

The earth is still turning! I’m still Alive!! Heck, the Yankees Loss in a terrible playoff game and still the world’s problems are unsolved. Therefore, I will continue to retain my happiness by taking part in more items in my life and taking each day as it comes and living it a little at the time. I’m liking this living on my terms thing all over again. Brings back fond memories of camping on beaches, meeting strangers and just talking like there is No Tomorrow! The “Beauty in Life”… people, this is what it is all about! We could be gone in our sleep and never take that trip or enJoy the perfect afternoon drive, movie, game, concert, meal, drink or romantic sunset. All the money and correctness; will be here when we have left this earth!

I’ve stopped the methodic planning and obsessive, perfected obedience. I’m Living!!!

Posted in Personal Reflections, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slump Writing


In Memory of Dad 💜


“The Beauty after the Battle

A maze of months twirled by as I struggled to get back on track with my Lyrics. Short stories and musical jaunts are usually a breeze for me. When your creativity is not the issue, it makes you wonder.

I found myself suffering from.. Overload. Yes, that condition of TOO MUCH to express found its way into my stratosphere. Focusing on one item and not being overwhelmed by the others lurking in my mind became unbearably suffocating and I knew what I had to do.

Just Stand..

A term used to explain the act or lack thereof, in which you simply wait it out. Firmly and Debilitating swim with those stories and themes that are all bouncing around your head. I felt them. I smelled them. I heard their cry. I even played with the very taunting aspects of my demons own cruelty!

I’ll be okay. I will survive, I thought. Then, It Worked!

Yes. I Worked!

I started to Function again. I could pick them apart. The ones I needed and the ones I should toss aside were Expertly put into perspective. I even discovered that some should be compiled to give me a sense of direction.

To be short on my brain matters, so to say, I had career and family problems and they collided like the Big Bang and lasted longer than a Yankees vs. Red Sox game on a Hot Summer’s Day. (You just Knew I would add a sports analogy)

The battle and Stand was Real! I persevered. I found my gear. We, my mind, found our outlet.

My new dangerous career, my sudden erratic blood pressure and the death of my father were simply too much to handle and focus on my writing. Too much for words!

I’ve learned.. that the mind will settle. In my case I meditated, worshipped and prayed to God whom I thought had forgotten to help bring me out of this and last but not least I STOOD!

I Simply Let It Happen!! I gave into the Process.

My body Rested as Life went on. My Brain disseminated as I eye-balled it heavily. (a military term) Most of all, My Heart Absorbed the Hit of a million things that I could NOT EXPRESS!!

All of a sudden..the Second Chance of NEW LIFE began!! The next chapter began to write itself. It helped that I RECOGNIZED “Others going through the same struggle with their lives and careers. I even implemented the actual message that I’ve always preached and survived off of after 911 when career and life charted a new course for me then, I Stood. I conquered. I LIVED!

Sometimes I was a Zombie. Other times I was a Saint. I also NEVER let Anyone bring me further down as they Don’t know your struggles or have walked your path..Believe in That people..Simply Believe!!

I’m on the Other Side now. I see the Dual purpose and the Dual role we as beings play in Life. This writing will most likely be Double Blessing..

I Stand!!



Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My “OPINION” on the Marriage Debate in America

Here is a Historical Definition of Marriage VERSUS Unions.

(It Could clear up why “MANY” people don’t understand that “Anyone can have this Right”!)

“It is said that the first “UNION” between a man and a woman took place in
Mesopotamia at 2350 BC. “Marriage” evolved since then and such practice was
observed by the Romans, Greeks, and Hebrews. However, the Union was never about Love or Religion. The primary purpose of the marriage is to ensure that the
man’s children are biologically his, and so women were treated as mere ‘property’.”


We’ve come a LONG WAY, HUH?!:-)

YES, I have no problems with what others do outside of a traditional/religious church wedding. This is NOT what “I Believe” Gays and Lesbians are asking for anyway.

YES, as a Conservative Christian I can still have and show LOVE for my fellow man who does not believe in the God I Serve”.

This is my Duty as a “Follower of Christ”!

Posted in God is Love!, Personal Reflections, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

My “OPINION” on the Marriage Debate in America

Here is a Historical Definition of Marriage VERSUS Unions.

(It Could clear up why “MANY” people don’t understand that “Anyone can have this Right”!)

“It is said that the first “UNION” between a man and a woman took place in
Mesopotamia at 2350 BC. “Marriage” evolved since then and such practice was
observed by the Romans, Greeks, and Hebrews. However, the “Union was never about
Love or Religion”. The primary purpose of the marriage is to ensure that the
man’s children are biologically his, and so women were treated as mere ‘property’.”


We’ve come a LONG WAY, HUH?!:-)

YES, I have no problems with what others do outside of a traditional/religious church wedding. This is NOT what “I Believe” Gays and Lesbians are asking for anyway.

YES, as a Conservative Christian I can still have and show LOVE for my fellow man who does not believe in the God I Serve”.

This is my Duty as a “Follower of Christ”!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My First Pen & Ink Sketch

The Lovers, Two Lovers “worked” into One scene.

M's Expression of "Lovers"

“So much Obscurity! So much Implied!!” Those were my first thoughts when I saw the original drawing.

The passion of this piece of work is seen and not seen through the strokes of the lines and angles. So much is interpreted. Much is felt. I had only had a few weeks in my first semester of Freehand Drawing class when I chose this picture to “re-create”. I chose not to change much of it. it is almost the exact copy of the original yet, symbolic and oddly mine!

The moment is captured quite well and the linear strengths of the line work is as strong as the emotions I were feeling when I penned them. How? Why!? I want to think that it was the genuine Love that I was feeling at the time. I had finished, all but one year left on my Marine Corps enlistment. I was dating someone who made me happy at the time. (My fiance died two years before in a freak accident while we were deployed in Japan.) The first semesters of my latest college endeavor was well on the way.

The favorite element in the background is the bird in its cage. I love birds. I also love when they are happy and chirping. I’d like to believe that the original artist did also and had a happy bird placement in mind. This symbology would later be used in an extremely passionate love scene between Billy Bog Thornton and Halle Berry in the movie “Monster’s Ball“. The fluttering of feathers visually and the sound it made created quite a unique perspective on the heighten action in the scene.

My favorite “induced” faction is the implied intertwined legs of the two and the dangling of their feet. The strong form of his arm and her body lying in his brings such comfort. The feelings they must have shared are so prevalent.

My memories of my long-lost love Alan more than fueled my passion for this drawing and I think it made it all the more striking. It was drawn in the first month of my first semester of freehand drawing. I had never taken a formal freehand drawing class before. High school drafting was my only drawing experience.

The “Worked” effect of her gazing into his embrace says it all. They are truly in Love! Embodied in Trust, Reverence, Tolerance, Bewilderment and Grace. All of these attributes in the only way True Lovers should share one another. That, of course, is only in my honest opinion. I was indeed in touch with my feelings of an Eros kind of Love when I created this one. I hope it gives you that feeling too. A feeling of ONE!

Even though I chose pen & ink OVER my pencil sketch originally; I added at a later date the pastel hue of color with a digital camera a few years ago. This is the finished product in the photo.

Posted in Personal Reflections, The Arts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

A Good Year Gone BAD and GOOD all over Again!!!!

I must admit, the new found freedom of almost a year now has been liberating!! Knowing when to say NO. Giving more to the Causes and Charities that I want to. Living Life on my terms! Uh, Huh!! Yeeeep!!!


I’ve had too much heartache and sadness lately to even “Think” about doing things any other way. The more I Live; the more I learn that NO ONE can take my Joy away. I can however, if not careful… Give it Away!!!

For the past eight months I’ve been working on more work opportunities, new writings,

Focusing on doing MORE of what I like and LESS of what I don’t!! Hmmm… Let’s see!!!

  • Holding “Others” a little more ACCOUNTABLE; DO
  • Making time for Myself; YES
  • LOYALTY to those who deserve it; DONE

{Raised Hand} I have to admit, I pinch myself from time to time as I ask ‘Did I really just relax in that moment?’ when I accomplish a feat or abstain from one I chose not to involve my mind, body and soul with!


I can’t even begin to explain how brutal and decisive I’ve been lately. Discord with my feelings and wants and needs are at an “all time low” for the first time in a LONG TIME!!!!


Seeing things for what they are and ACCEPTING THEM is a Motto I adhere to more these days. I have but few necessities in Life! (Lord Knows I state them over and over again.) I only wish to have a Life filled with Love, Honesty, Caring, Sharing and JOY!!!!! In the words of Metallica… Nothing Else Matters!!!  

I’m not Professing Perfection!! I’m simply “Harmonizing” with the Pursuit of Making Things BETTER for Myself and the People I surround Myself with!!


Uh Huh, I’d say this Mission is well on its Way! Thank God!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Love Thy Neighbor As Thy Self

My Childhood Neighbor…

She was such a force to be reckoned with. Not sure if it was her character, her grace or quite simply; her Simplicity! Growing up in a remote suburban area of New Orleans, I would gripe constantly about long rides to the city for events in my life.  As an adult it is also probably why I Love living in more metropolitan areas overall. I Love being close to the arts, music, urban culture and technology. The simple things are just that to me.. Simple!

As I matured, I learned to appreciate the importance of those “simple things” when I think of the word Love! In my thirties, I had a deep lesson and reflection with a church leader on the difference of Eros and Agape Love. Their differences and how they affect the overall lifestyle and mood of people. The Religious aspects were put aside so I could fully understand the Spirituality of the word “LOVE“! Due to my thorough education in the word on a mental, physical and spiritual level; I spend my Valentine’s Day Loving my neighbors as I Love myself.. the Agape (Love) Way! Being single on this Valentine’s Day, the Eros (Love) is not as important on this day to me as it is to couples. But, we can all share Love on this day (Eros or Agape) if we share it with our significant other or our neighbor!

Let me get to my childhood neighbor. Ms. Escamila, better known to the kids in our area as “The Chicken Lady”, was a model citizen and a pillar to our society. She lived on the street behind my home. Her street, home, appearance and quiet nature was the exact opposite of mine. To look at it overall; she wore simple (sometimes ragged) garments with a barn red house and livestock roaming the yard with a very narrow gravelled road. We on the other hand, had a large property with a brick home, estate gates, fancy cars, the best clothes money can buy (or have custom-made) and the family poodle.

She was well spoken and lived on her own. Being well poised was a huge part of her Pride. She was ALWAYS Happy! Smiles! A Kind word! She had a way to look up when things weren’t so. No one is perfect but, her philosophy led to a “no one has to know” persona that worked WELL for her.

I had it all…. or so I thought! My Family, Many Friends, trophies, social clubs and the many “accolades” CONSTANTLY bestowed upon me! When things did not go My Way; Hell hath No Fury!

Two total OPPOSITES!!

Yet, we met in the middle! We Connected! Our relationship was Solid! Our Commitment.. FIRM!! To this day I am not sure what made us take to each other. I would imagine that God had placed us on each other’s paths. She needed me?! I needed Her?! We both learned and loved! I consider her my First “Agape” Valentine’s Day Love!

Unlike the many “Eros” Valentine Male suitors of my past, (only one of them an actual Agape Love Also) the serious and fulfilling nature of that Agape Valentine relationship with my neighbor will last a Lifetime!

The specialties we shared were the walks, talks, life exposures and lessons. If I would act too boastful, she calmed and nourished me with advice and led me to a more subtle way of expression. We exchanged gifts on many different levels. I would ask: “Can I bring you a new outfit or some of a great catered or cooked meal?” She would say: “Here are some eggs from the chickens! Would you like to pet the goat?” The etiquette of afternoon tea was first shared with her which also included setting a table. She would inform me that unkind words hurt more to most people than a stab in the back; as the wound would heal and memories hurtful words often lasted into “Eternity“! Amazing was the things I was exposed to during those formative years and all thanks to a little old lady just around the corner.

We had different backgrounds in culture, race, class and age. The Love we shared through time, gifts, knowledge and so forth would be an invaluable tool in my future. It helped me to deal with failures, loneliness and the absence of the Eros in my life. This includes the loss of my only Eros and Agape Love after his death while we served in the Marines overseas.

At times when my personal emotions are bursting at the seams, the ever-present teachings of a “Gentler Pass” help me to choose my responses to the situation more wisely! The overall effect has given me the thicker skin and healthier spiritual, mental and physical style that “Life Demands”.

This Lady truly helped me to LOVE MYSELF!

I am ever so glad that both my mom and dad allowed me to connect with her. Some how; they must have known! If not, they will NOW! I write this today and give a salute to both of them!! They will know on this Valentine’s Day that because of her… their daughter Fully Appreciate The Most Beautiful Things In Life such as….

Loving Them AND Thy Neighbor!!


Happy Valentine’s Day Neighbors!!!!

“Inspired by Bible Verse Matthew 22:39”

Posted in God is Love!, Personal Reflections, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Miss My Yankees!!!!!!!

 Yankees! Like no other want or need in Life!! I crave Yankees Baseball!!!

All this WS coverage is making me “Queasy”… I miss all my Yankees Tweets!!! I’m “Lonely”!! The Yanks have made me feel “Needy”! Sighhh…

My quote for the day as the first game of the World Series for 2010 starts. Heartfelt Truth! What is it about my love affair with “everything pinstriped and blue”?! Is it the organization itself? Is it the talent they graciously employ? I don’t know what has a hold on me but, I sure wish I could get everyone to understand that Love and Joy!

Walking the New York City streets, the Ballpark in the Bronx; brings an aura that nowhere in the world can match!  The history is magnificent. The honor they implore is simply Outstanding. It’s definitely a “Blue” in the veins. One seems to have it or Not. Plenty of fans describe it as a “Religion” and others a “Following”.

My love of all things Yankee are difficult for some to take at times. Since my home is out west and I work and play in the south and the east; I meet Bronx Lovers and Bronx Haters. They do have one thing in common…

An appreciation for the Yankees overall in Fans, Ownership and  Dynasty! GO YANKEES

Posted in Sports, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Peace On Earth!

This day has begun with a good bit of forethought. How crazy the world is and still beautiful. How sad life can be but, wonderful the things we treasure in it. Things can make us Happy; but, not deliver Peace. I thought about and then started this post on October 5th, as there was much going on in my mind on that day. Was I happy with all that I have and have accomplished? Have I done all that I can do to achieve happiness and peace. How true iS my inner Joy?!

That feeling that everything will be alright no matter what life throws at us was aching in my mind and heart! I read my daily today and it made me think deeply about our (the world’s) differences. The imperfection, differences and livelihoods, they are all in a realm of their own. I Believe in “Live and Let Live” as long as it does not intentionally hurt others; I’ve said and meant that so many times in life. We have a hard time, some of us, letting go and letting “God” I’ve often heard said. We also feel “trapped” at times by our circumstances and how they relate to God and/or religion, family and even others. Personal Happiness, the kind of love, peace, joy and satisfaction that everyone craves can at times be difficult to achieve. This is especially true when the pressures of daily life weigh us down, the rejections bring us new self-doubt or what we know as “Good” is trashed, subjectively trounced, judged unfairly or even made “Ugly”!

Even though I believe in God and practice Christianity; I am also Realistic! The very same thought evoking clergy who leads me also reminded our congregation recently to do TWO THINGS.

Sin” and “Doubt“…

That’s right, sin and doubt and to DO BOTH!! Our unwillingness to bear with each others “Faults” and “Forgive” makes life harder to lead! No one is perfect; therefore we all SIN! Unless everything in life is etched in stone giving us solid evidence; we will DOUBT! It is good for the soul the two ministers said as each preached on one of those words on different weeks. Similar. Different. Worthy!

The chance that Christianity is not enough is there. My wonder of whether God is enough no matter if I am Jewish, Catholic or Christian is there. I love my God-fearing people as much as I do my atheist! One may be right or even a combination of the two could be the answer. Questions like whether God is a She or He or Spirit truly boggles my mind. I don’t care! I simply believe that there is something out there that hears my pleads, prayers, cries and laughs. This gives me Peace!  I celebrate more than one religious belief and surround myself with many people who represent those beliefs. My parents are Catholic, Methodist and Baptist. Best friends on my list range from Non-Believers to Born Again Christians. I visit and worship in various places depending on my location and the people I am spending time with. My stance on radicals is that they are ruining more and more chances that someone who can truly benefit from God is being turned offby the crass and selfish motives of their spewing! Spirituality, which is different from being religious, is an essential for life that all must possess and be shaped by. Organized religion is not always the way to achieve that connection!

The body’s spirit says tremendous things about us. It is the inner sign of who, what, where, when and why we ARE!!  Our Spirit is what makes us!! Below is an excerpt from my UMC Daily Devotional that I read at some point during the day. I try to do it First. At times, it is read late in the day or Last at night! The earlier, the better as I can reflect on life as the day goes along. On days I read before bed, it often brings me delight when I see an example of what I read displayed in my behavior even before I have that chance to read it. Other times, it give me insight as to what has impeded me or what I may need to work on in the future.

The last paragraph says it all! It reminded me of growing up and having to learn “The Golden Rules” in which religion was not a part; only a Good Natured Spirit!!!  You all remember those?! The ones that we used to get along well with others on the playground, in class and during organized sports or the arts. No matter what we believe or may not want to:  Community of One World Family is the only way to make Life Whole! You may not like someone or something when it comes to their spirit or actions yet, you show them due Respect!

“GOD loves the world. God is father of all people and treats us as sons and daughters who need to find the way of life, love, justice, peace, solidarity, reconciliation, and companionship. Therefore, all of humanity is one family — a community of brothers and sisters whether or not they are neighbors, the same nationality, or the same race. God’s family today is divided into two hemispheres and five continents; many social classes, both powerful and powerless; different races; and different religions.

The church is a community of people who have known and accepted the love of God and have been challenged to love God and neighbors by overcoming barriers that divide people. The church is a community called to work in partnership with God, announcing God’s will that we have life, peace, and companionship.

The gospel is the message of God’s love and power that invites people to draw close to one another and to work for reconciliation, peace, and justice. God’s love makes the human community one family.

Ronan Boechat de Amorim (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

A Prayer: God of love, thank you for the gospel that establishes a network of communion and solidarity, connecting those who are distant and bringing them close to one another. Amen.

Thought: What can I do to reconcile God’s family?

Prayer or Meditation: For peace on earth

Hope this post touched your heart in some way!

Insert U2 song here (One of my Faves by the way)

…”Jesus can you take the time
to throw a drowning man a line,
Peace on Earth!”…

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17

Discover what moves your Spirit in a positive way…, TODAY!!!

-A Love Note From “M

Posted in God is Love!, Personal Reflections, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Never Let ANYONE Steal Your JOY!!!


For me, one of the most Beautiful words in the English language. It is synonymous with such words as happiness, delight, gladness, pleasure and bliss. Its meaning entails much more than the emotion of being happy.  One can have Bliss, show Delight or even exhibit Laughter all while feeling Not so Happy! This is a true telltale sign of Joy! When your overall emotional state of mind is so well-balanced that the sad, unusual or even mundane issues in life can’t change your overall Satisfaction with oneself; you’ve probably obtained a level of Joy that most wish they knew and could reach.

I thank God every day for that glorious revelation!!!

No matter how hard things can get, I focus my energy and thoughts on the “Positives” in Life. There is so much we cannot change in this life and in this world. I can’t begin to tell you how to find “IT”, as I only happened up my own Joy by chance. A sudden and awkward state of  “Here I am…, Good Lord…, I’m GOOD“! I can tell you what it felt like and what was happening in my life.

It was a few days after September 11th and the sadness was truly sinking in. My position with a large design/build firm was already slowing and coming to an end. I had more vested in my personal company now and had hit the ceiling salary wise. My drive to the office was a long tedious one that included a drive across a 24 mile long bridge. This was my time to think, use the speakerphone on my cellphone to catch up with friends and family and use the cruise control over the large, straight, lake view bridge. Due to still prevalent scares, the bridge would be off-limits here and there. I would start to take the long way around more often. As I showed up for work on many days I would be turned away after a few hours of light busy work. One day right after the terrorist events had shaken us all, I was permanently let go. I was told I could call back in a few months to see if things had picked up. My feeling was numb. The day a little more dim. As I drove the long way home around the lake, just a mile from my home, I called one of my college girlfriends to check on her and her family as I stopped for a red light. The large intersection was full of firefighters collecting for the cause. I quickly told my friend to hold on as I pushed the switch on the window in the rain to give him all that I had that day. Since I had not had lunch, it was quite a bit in cash and I collected the change also. As he thanked me for the donation, I smiled and offered the words that “I wish I could do more”. He reassured me and we spoke for a moment of casual things. As I got back to my phone call, it suddenly dawn on me with all the things going on in my life that day, I was Okay! I’d lost a job. I’d been wasting gas going back and forth for months. The girlfriend on the line and her family witnessed the plane through their kitchen window that crashed in a field outside of their Midwest town. My local girlfriend and I spoke that morning of her brother’s efforts at Ground Zero and the effects that it was having on our families. We had lost a church member’s child at the pentagon and I still hadn’t heard from a friend of mine in the city.

My girlfriend and I continued to talk as I impressed upon her my latest feelings. I was having the most Euphoric and Calming feelings deep inside. At the time I did not know what is was. What I did know was that it was unusual. It was Beautiful. I was enJOYing Life!

We both laughed and cried as I could not explain my feelings. It would take a few more days and discussions with a great mentor in my life to grasp the word and its meaning. The revelation of an emotion that evokes “wellbeing” in spite of the “chaos” of the details in LIFE: This was my feeling! This was what Dreams are made of! I was broke yet happy. I was suddenly Jobless but, Inspired by expanding my own entrepreneurship. Sorrow surrounded me and I still had Hope! Life was going to go on and “We” would survive! Life would go on, things will get better!!

At that moment I realized my JOY in LIFE!

Today I had a family member “step” all over my dreams as they belittled the things that I find gives me Joy. Because I chose a career and to live away from the family home front down south; I am not worthy of acknowledgment. I give her all the praise and blessings as she has had what is close to a “Perfect” life. The husband, kids, home, career, money beyond belief and society references a queen might envy are all her claim to fame. I’m very proud of her on that front. Her family brings me many elements of my Joy. She shares her mind and heart. (Even sometimes when not really wanted or needed) Yet, at a certain point everyone must draw that line in the sand. The lines that help us keep our sanity. You Know…, the one that defines who we are. My opinion is that I should not be made to feel “Guilty” for having that opinion OR nurturing the facts of MY BELIEFS!

I feel very blessed! Even with my education, career, a home and land; I still wish for a family of my own. Who wouldn’t want more money or even more notoriety and gifts in their life?! Those things simply don’t define me anymore. The quality of my life is my concern. If I feel more at home with family and friends in other parts of the world then it is my prerogative. I’m always comfortable living in other parts of the world and will eventually settle down somewhere that may not be close to the South. THAT IS A FACT! When I make decisions to make my life a little better, I feel as though a little support would be appropriately “in line”.

I get plenty of satisfaction from my business, music, travel, family and friends. I don’t need the judgment of “others” that think that I should stay miserable and under their thumb because they can offer me an “easy” way through life. The biggest problem with America right now is the expectancy of “Handouts”! I love living within my means, working for it, taking the punches and doing it my way with the help of family and friends who honestly want me to succeed and allow me to have that all important say in “my life”. I want a future that includes a family with a husband and children that will look up to the way I have lived so far. Even if I don’t get all that I desire in life, I will know that I did all that I can to make things right to the best of My Ability.

There are enough pressures in the society to make us doubt ourselves. If you love someone; you try to lift them UP! Successes and Failures are certain in life. They will come and go. I like listening to that little voice deep inside of me as it helps to guide me along with a healthy research and a dose of Faith in God. With age, it has been fine tuned to a fault. Life’s journey is a continuous growth process. It brings me Joy when I share my Joy with the world.

I often hear it said, that there are “only” two things in life that we must do. Those two things are to Die and pay Taxes. Nowhere do I find “do exactly what others tell you ” in that one plus one equals two equation! I do find that everything else in life is “OURS” to cherish, keep and explore!

The moment you start to give that back…, the power, the freedom, the happiness; you lose that ultimate emotion of JOY!


is my Treasure, Delight and I take Great Pride in it and I will



Posted in Personal Reflections, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What makes a piece of work ART!?

A favorite History of Art professor of mine would often ask the question; “what makes this piece of work “art”?! It took most of my fellow students and I years of education and experience to be able to answer that question on the spot. As anyone probably would answer, we gave the same, often replying it “looks good”! “But, what is good?” Father Hilger would further push. At this point, we would have to step it up into high reflective gear. Using principles of judging a work of art, a sheet with disseminating pointers, we would go to work on our reasons and opinions.

We used the standard terms such as color, texture, line, space, weight, emotion and so on. Things that most of us consider tangible and/or a non-visual sense perception is taken into account. How do we express Texture without touching. Feel weight without using a scale or lifting. For those of us who speak english well and have a large vocabulary (or Thesaurus – which I try never to use unless at a loss for a more fresh or appropriate word) the expression of such perception can be easy to interpret. However, using the “correct” words to get that meaning across to someone who may use your critique for their benefit is assuredly an additional factor.

The thing that helped me the most was always the first impression focus.  Is it striking? In what way? I’ve found that even pieces that are not “attractive” to me, tend to have an Artistic appreciation afforded to it.  That saying “One person’s junk is another person’s treasure” is exactly appropriate in this situation.  My least favorite painter is Van Gogh. He does nothing for my taste in paintings. Even with this revelation, I am still able to make a judgement towards his work.  His use of color in Starry Night is in my opinion vibrant, passionate and piercing. That is part of a typical critique. I could go on about his lines (stroke of paint brush) or even its weight. I can also say that emotionally it leaves me mesmerized, peaceful and full of melancholy.

The opposite side of the spectrum would be my favorite painter. August Renoir in my opinion was a Genius! His work exhibits all the favorite and important parts of painting that my taste require. His work evokes exactly the emotions that my palate lives for. I owned a book of his greatest work. Still own a replica of one favorite and always looking for others. His Still life, Genres and Ballerinas are simply Beautiful! Only Edgar Degas has a hold on me slightly stronger when it comes to Ballerina paintings, pen & ink or pencil sketches. His strokes are the epitome of feminine. They are delicately place. The entire period of impressionism is based on tiny dots of paint placed sporadically and in an array of pastel & monotone colors. Imagine a collage of different colors, textures, sizes and heights; all placed in non-uniformed fashion. Next, step back and take a good look. It suddenly becomes a building, a flower or a Face! Flesh tones made of hundreds of dots and many colors of tan, grey, blue and pink.

Modern day art has copied the process and it can be done via software on the internet. Well, it all started with the Masters of the Impressionist Era! What computers mathematically do with your pictures in a modern-day collage; was all done in the heads of man in the 19th Century, late 1800s. Quite Amazing Calculations they had and on such a large-scale.

The variation of texture can give you tremendous insight into feelings. The question of how an artist felt about the subjects or even what the items and subjects in the piece were feeling can quite possibly be answered by viewing the work.

This Renoir, Le Moulin de la Galette, is the same as the one I have in my bedroom sitting area. It makes me feel as if I am at the party! The action is felt through the masterful placement of color. Varied attention to details in people’s faces are key to my amazement and again thousands of well placed and coordinated specs of paint!

I look at Renoir’s work and it makes me:

  • calm
  • upbeat
  • intense
  • inspired
  • melancholy
  • romantic

  … all of these feelings and at the same time. I can smell the air and trees. I hear the water, people’s conversations and period music. I grasp the taste of the food on tables. I feel as much in that time as the subjects of the paintings and sculptures.

This Toulouse-Lautrec is leaning toward the more traditional style with stroke and color. Unlike, Renoir, Monet or Degas or “Lady” Cassatt; it has less of a “leave it to the imagination” process of the under brushed stroke effect. The flesh tones are still in the slightly “morbid” style. They tend to look a little less than Alive!

Experiment with how you feel! Does a color jump out at you. Is a stroke of the paintbrush or pen smooth or jagged and if so; what feelings does it evoke? These are some of the question that one should ask themselves when viewing a piece. How exactly does the work affect you?

When a piece of work touches your soul in a way you can’t explain, you have probably just experienced the effects of “A Work of “Art“!

If you look real close or tap on the first picture you will notice a little something special “looking” for you.

I like to call it the “Renoir Lagniappe”!

Posted in The Arts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments